Ninjas Do it Better. - dancing between two cultures

Im sitting in Hispanic Lit USA feeling totally alienated.
When I registered for the class i had my apprehensions, mostly stemming from my severe distate for the instructor.
The first day of class I realized that my reservations were in fact totally justified and actually worse than I had expected.
It was like Clase 406 (think beverly hills 90210 set in Mexico DF). Or better yet some lame high school that better resembled a tv version of what high school is....anyhow.

But upon some inspection of the syllabus I realized that it might actually not be as awful as I expected. The required reading was interesting and either novels I have read or that Ive been meaning to.
Then I realized we were reading translations. ugh. Novels written by Latino writers in english....translated (altho good translations) into spanish. Which seemed like interesting choices.

I talked to cecilia about it...and after a discussion about the politics of english dept versus the "boys" at the modern languages (spanish) dept....and her advice to suck it up and appreciate the lit. I mean I get to read junot diaz again :)....i decided to stay in the class and take it all in.

The problems now are the class discussions. Not only are they lame at times, altho having joseph and javier in the class actually brings a random assortment of actual serious debates. The problem is the concept of "my people".

"my people". what does that mean.
I think may I have had a problem formulating a concrete identity.
"my people" .... does it reflect my gender? my sexuality? my ethnicity? political affliation? language i speak? food i eat? time i poo? i mean seriously.

in class people talk about "my people".
I guess in a way it makes me feel like I often lose touch with my Latina roots. I think its was silvia's college bf / crazy fucking nuyorican stalker that said "Juana is not really latina. I mean she doesn't hang out with hispanic people. She doesn't listen to hispanic music. She doesn't dance salsa or merengue. " ummm. marc... i speak better / write better spanish than u. wtf.
But then I guess when he said that it really did get to me.

So the concept of "my people"
who are "my people".
I don't have any concrete positions on anything. hmmm
I think my reservations with claiming a people is that i don't want it to reflect some superficial connection i have with a group.
I am colombian. yes this is a fact. I have the passport.
I like feminism. Does this make them my people. bell hooks says claiming ur a feminist does make it a ready-pre packaged-microwave optional identity. I have had conflicts with feminists. So are they my people?
etc etc.



This is what wikipedia tells me:

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In sociology and political science, the notion of social identity is individuals' labelling of themselves as members of particular groups -- such as Nation, Social class, Subculture, Ethnicity, Gender, Employment, and so forth. It is in this sense which sociologists and historians speak of a national identity of a particular country, and feminist and queer theorists speak of gender identity.

Many people feel pride in their Identity groups, which furthers a sense of Community and Belonging. Often they will attempt to add to their identity by behaving in certain ways that have only a superficial connection, often the behaviour wasn't even established within the group, but through the Stereotypes of Oppressors. Though, it should not be mistaken that all people who identify a certain way attempt to add more to it. Identity has been a central element of pride movements such as gay pride or black consciousness, which seek to strengthen politically oppressed groups by improving members' sense of identity. However, many consider a national or ethnic identity as a cultural background for demagogy, ethnic and religious conflicts, and the like.

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perhaps im just insane.